Kids crave boundaries and rules... and just want to be understood. Hell, we ALL want that. Unpopular opinion? It certainly seems that way. Stick with me though... In my classroom, I saw kiddos absolutely lose it. Displays torn off the walls, chairs tossed, curse words screamed, and even fleeing the classroom. Often times these behaviors were seemingly a direct result of them being told 'no' or not allowed to continue an undesirable behavior. I've been told not to tell them no. Not to redirect or expect them to follow my directions. I've been told that the behaviors should be ignored... disregarded... allowed to continue... you know, "don't poke the beast or rock the boat" so to speak. I call bullshit on ALL of this. I have 12 years of experience rocking that damn boat. With the intent of building relationships and showing kids I give a damn about them. One kiddo went from suspended regularly, being in the office more than the classroom... to crying the day he left me. We're seeing an increase in tables being flipped. Of hallways being put on "lock down". Of classrooms being destroyed. And we are also seeing an increase of teacher's not feeling supported by administration. Just my opinion... but what always worked for me? Creating relationships with students when they are in a positive emotional space. And if they escalate, remaining calm and consistent and firm. But the after? That's where we are missing the mark I believe. Once calm again, implementing consequences. Reminding them that you know they are capable of better and that you love them enough to expect better. Giving them the chance to verbalize why it happened... have them place themselves in the shoes of their peers... and treating them as humans, in an attempt to understand. Brushing it under the rug... looking at them as trauma victims and feeling sorry for them, therefore excusing the behavior... that isn't love. That isn't high expectations. That's pity. And growth doesn't happen there. By allowing them to proceed without correction/reflection, we are delivering the unspoken message of "we don't think you are worthy, nor capable, of better". Teachers, ya feel me?