— i don’t have another word to describe this year but it was like a pregnant woman full of mood changes of what to throw at me. why? this year started good, i was in love or so i thought well that didn’t work out, went in this deep dark shit, hated myself, cried myself to sleep each night, took too many painkillers hoping it would numb the pain i felt. i decided i couldn’t live like that, i have to fix myself, and i did i was happy with myself again and i met new people, amazing ones. fell in love, drifted apart, broke some hearts (in my opinion i did make mistakes too and i definitely unintentionally hurt people too) moved on, oh and almost died, who thought an appendix was that deadly? but then this girl i’m pretty sure i hurt her badly came back in my life, around middle june, we talked, forgave eachother, agreed not to get involved romantically— guess what, a month later boom confess yeah i can’t keep my hands off her. august comes around, that month sucks summer is over, school is priority and fucked that up but guess what? nooo i wasn’t heart broken, sure i was hurt but we didn’t stop talking, we grew even closer from the past events. oh yeah and now we’re engaged, i proposed with one of those rings that’s a lollipop you can eat yeah? i think it’s american i don’t actually know those but yeah. so here me and my best friend are, what are we doing? i don’t know. do i care? no . why? because i’m happy. i’m happy with myself, i’m happy with the people i’m friends with, i’m happy i have my soulmate, my safe place right here with me. i haven’t been happy like this in a while. yeah i get my off days but that’s like once a month when pmsing is a pain in the ass. and hey i was actually trying to thank everyone who took part in my life this year so far, but esmée interrupted. JEEZ SOMEONE like attention. i’m kidding i can’t help myself my bestfriend is amazing i don’t want to exchange her for anything in this world. nothing. okay but i really actually love everyone okay? okay.