Tim (not his real name) is this week's utter shite. I turfed 'Tim' out of a plant pot where he and his mates had set up a call centre. Tim claimed it was Barclaycard Customer Services, but I know it is actually a romance scam boiler room. Tim has been preying on vulnerable single, lonely lady slugs, whom he meets online. He then tells then how wonderful their slime is, and makes them feel special. Before long Tim has a terrible tentacle accident involving a lawnmower, and needs several thousand pounds transfering to him for medical treatment. Then he is never seen again. Luckily, I know some lonely feathered ladies that would enjoy Tim's tall tales. They will also enjoy Tim's moist, delicious body. 🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔*Tim is NOT a leopard slug. He is an Irish yellow slug, although he has a Nigerian passport.