This one goes out to all ya’ll with big mushy hearts, you kindness gangsters, you generous givers.... Boundaries at first can seem like a threat to our generosity and kindness, especially if we understand boundaries to be harsh and something that cuts connection, isolating either ourselves + others. So I get you. And I love the generous, kind and compassionate essence that makes you you, and is part of your divine gift. But as my dear bestie @beingisbeautiful reminded me this morning, there is a difference between these gifts being integrated with self-worth, and these gifts flapping in the sea of selfishness, being taken advantage of. When kindness is integrated with self-worth we are able to stand up for ourselves without losing our connection to kindness. I’ve been tested in this arena lately. Multiple opportunities where my kindness and compassion could have pushed me into passive “understanding” but at the expense of my connection to self and my self-worth. Standing up for myself in these different situations wasn’t about extracting a certain result, it was to show (and tell) myself that I am worthy of being respected and fought for (learned from my gal @erinskyekelly aka worth queen). This is an old wound and tender spot for me, in an upbringing where I was picked on and often singled out unfairly, I learned that not only would no one be there to stand up for me but that standing up for myself only brought more chaos, pain and isolation. So, having learned that lesson, my adaptation was to be kind, compassionate and understanding. I love that I developed these qualities, it’s what makes me so effective with the work I do. It brings me a sense of deep meaning and connection. But kindness and compassion without boundaries is a set up for abuse, mistreatment and a life void of true healthy connection. And so my policy is this: fierce fucking boundaries, tender loving heart. My boundaries (+ standing up for myself) don’t cut me off from my tender loving heart. They amplify it, because it’s safely protected. When I’m safe in my ability to protect + advocate for myself my capacity to love deepens and widens it’s scope and impact. Period.